highlight:
-got to play with a puppy at my internship interview!
-internship seems legit and worthwhile.
-signed up for classes.
-sushi from windmill farms market for dinner.
-tomorrow i get the keroppi 20th anniversary ltd edition tote in the mail. i'm a nerd but you like that.
-get a hair cut tomorrow

lowpoint:
-this military guy on base yelled at me because i was making illegal turns. i didn't know my way around since i've never been there.
-it's hot.
-i'm hungry.

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I think that from now on I won't be making the random trips to LA, Riverside, etc. that I'm used to making since gas prices are ridiculous and will only continue to be for the remainder of the time I'll be in SD. A few exceptions that I have are: p.sister's and lil bro/big/lil sis birthdays, Thanksgiving sisterhood, holidays, if something big happens like someone gets married, graduates, and/or if you're on my way to oxnard, etc.

I've gotten used to being a homebody. Random late night "I can't sleep" trips and middle of the day when I'm supposed to be in class adventures have ceased to exist in my life. I'll always be down for those, on the condition that I'm within a 30 minute driving distance and have someone to come along for the ride every now and again.

I'm kind of tired having to drive to far away places (1 hr. +) every time that I want to go hang out with friends and sisters. I think it's time that I just suck it up and live with the fact that I'm here to stay for another year, then maybe if I'm lucky I'll be moving somewhere closer to everything and my exciting life adventures will continue all over again.

Sorry if you never get to see me for another year, but I'll be in SD or Oxnard so if you get Cindy withdrawals you could come visit. I'm sorry ahead of time if I miss out on parties, get togethers, etc. Just one more year of this and hopefully I could get this done. Keep in touch everyone.

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the older i get, the more that i realize that summer is just any other season. summers used to be magical. hanging out with friends all day, swimming, staying out late every night, and random road trips. the older i get, the slower summer goes. beach days don't really exist anymore and going on trips seems a lot more expensive now since i live kinda far from everyone i know.

hopefully i finish school next spring so i could move finally to LA! yay.

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sometimes the best thing about life is that it goes on, but sometimes that's the worst part about it. sometimes things happen in life that are way too complicated for you to understand when it happens. but when you get a chance to look back on what happened you think maybe i should have done something other than what i did or said or took the time to look at it from another perspective before i did anything. when you finally gain that insight to that situation it's too late and too much time has passed to take something back or to do it differently. i know that's how you learn: by making all the mistakes in the world first before you get it right. although, most of the time i would have preferred to do it right the first time instead of me sitting here wishing that i could have said what i wanted to say when i had the chance even if it sounded ridiculous. i wish i could have said 'you were right and i was wrong' about certain stuff even though i'm not the type of person to say these kinds of things.

i dislike how things and people change and i don't get to see or know how they change. like when i withdrew from UCR mid spring quarter of my second year and went back to oxnard for a couple months. i felt like i left on a good note and that when i got back to rside for summer school everything would keep going on that good note. it did for awhile and then it was over. i was away for less than 3 months and everything about my good note changed. maybe it was supposed to happen that way and people made things good because they knew i was leaving. if i had stayed there would have been a chance that it would've gone downhill anyway, but i would have taken that chance to be there and know what went wrong instead of not being there.

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turn bad situations into good ones.

bad situation: being too far away from my closest friends and family.

could be a good situation because...

sometimes when i'm around certain people they bring out different parts of my personality. sometimes it's good and sometimes it's bad. it's not their fault, but it happens. right now, i need to grow out of my current phase and grow into a new one and by that i mean that, not 'i need to grow out of my friends'. i love my friends. i just need to grow out of my bad habits. i think that because i don't see them every single day or as often as before i have a chance to fix what i need to.

lately i've been reading a lot of good books that have let me look at something from another perspective. lately i haven't been as bored as i used to be. i'm content with where i'm at now. i'm starting to focus on what i want to accomplish and looking for ways that will get me there. in a sense i've gone back to being the girl that never gets invited to all of the poppin' parties of the summer. i'm okay with that. i'm okay with not being an attention whore. i'm okay with not being around people all the time. i'm okay with the way things are. i should just let everything be instead of being sad/mad/upset/etc. that things aren't the way i want it to be.

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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